Trouble in Paradise
by Londoncalling89
Summary: Post season 6 troubles between the lovebirds as they navigate retirement and illness.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! I'm back. I've finally accomplished my lifelong goal of moving from the US to London and feel so happy I wanted to start writing these stories again. Enjoy and please leave feedback it helps keep me going!**

Mr. Carson looked forlornly at the settee in front of him. It had been several months since he'd last been banished from the bedroom and been forced to take up residency on the small settee, he hadn't enjoyed it then and he very much doubted he would enjoy it this time. Pillow in land he attempted to lay his large bulk down in some mildly comfortable manner, trying in vain to think back to what exactly it was he had said that had caused his current banishment.

 _Several hours earlier_

Mrs. Carson couldn't exactly say that she was upset that her husband did not show up at Downton to walk her home that day but she was not best pleased. He knew how much she disliked walking home alone in the dark, and while it wasn't a spoken rule that on the days it turned dark so quickly that he would escort her home it was something she had grown to expect. As she fumbled her way down the path towards their cottage she tried to cool her temper, surely he had a good reason for not meeting her. But with every fumble and stumble she made down the path her expectations for his reasoning increased significantly. If she turned her ankle because she didn't have his strong arm to hold onto she would unleash the full force of her tongue upon him.

When she finally made it home with only bruised pride to show for it she was alarmed to see her husband so engrossed in the ledgers and bills he had spread out on their kitchen table that he didn't even notice she had entered.

"Hello." She said testily.

He startled then and looked up, confusing suffusing his face.

"What are you doing home?" He asked glancing down at his watch, though his tired eyes couldn't make out the hands clearly.

"I believe I live here." She said setting her purse on the table and sitting in the chair across from him, finally letting the frustrations of the day ease from her weary shoulders.

"Lord is that the time!?" He exclaimed his eyes finally coming into focus.

"It would seem so, I can assure you I would have mentioned if it was my half day."

"Oh Elsie, I'm so sorry." He turned his head slightly to look out the kitchen window. "Blast, and its dreadfully dark outside." He stated.

"Yes I'm aware of that fact. I stumbled the entire way home in the dark, I was rather expecting my husband to come pick me up as he has done every day for the past three weeks. Imagine my surprise when he was nowhere to be found." She said taking her gloves off and tossing them angrily on the table.

"Darling, I'm so sorry. I assure you I had every intention of escorting you home, truly I did. I just got distracted by these troublesome figures. I've been working on our finances all day and it seems the day just ran away."

"A likely story." She said with a huff.

"Elsie I can assure you that the most treasured time of day for me is the moment I can come meet you at the servants door of Downton, take your hand in mine and walk you back to our...how did Mrs. Patmore put it…our carefree love nest? Nothing makes my heart sing more then to see your lovely face after hours apart."

She couldn't help but smile at that. While Charles didn't always express himself, when he did he was always eloquent to a fault.

"Alright Charles you are forgiven. Now what have you made for supper? I'm absolutely famished."

Charles face turned red and he looked down sheepishly at the papers in front of him.

"Don't tell me you didn't even bother to make something for supper?" She said, suddenly getting angry with him again.

"I had every intention of making us a nice stew. I cut all the vegetables and had everything ready. I as going to put it all on the stove just before I left to come meet you."

"Charles Edward Carson! We made a deal when you retired. As long as I continued to work you would take care of the house, including preparing supper."

"I know Elsie and I'm sorry, its just I've been focusing on these bills and ledgers all day and I'm rather concerned."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I got the estimate from the builders today for the improvements on our house and its much more then we initially thought." He said, suddenly digging through his various piles of paper.

"How much more?" She asked, feeling her heart drop.

"Here." He said handing her a piece of paper.

"Oh my!" She exclaimed quickly putting the paper down. "What kind of highway robbery is this? Are we fixing up a small guest house or Buckingham Palace?"

"Well to be fair dear, the roof needs replacing which we hadn't initially considered and a number of the boards in bedrooms need to be redone and there are some concerns about the plumbing in the upstairs…facilities." He said, finding the actual words he needed seemed undignified to say in front of his wife.

"Lord Charles, it didn't seem to be this big a hassle for Mrs. Patmore." She said getting up and bustling about the kitchen to make their dinner.

"I've figured that we can afford it, it simply means that it will take much longer to see a profit from the guest house then we had wanted."

"How long?" She asked, knowing her retirement date depended on the answer.

"I know originally we had hoped to have it turning profit in two to three years but now I'd say we wont be out of debt from these costs for at least five years.'

"Oh Charles, I'd hoped to be retired by then. We can't afford my retirement and the costs of the house." She sat back down at the table and stared at her husband. It seemed all her hopes of retirement were fading away.

"I did have one thought though, while going through all of our finances."

"Yes." She said eagerly.

"I've noticed the bill we get every month for Becky's care. Its gone up significantly over the past year."

"As she gets older it gets more difficult to care for her, she needs to see the doctor more than she did before and they can no longer have her knitting small items to sell to help with her expenses."

"I completely understand but Elsie, we could save so much money if we moved her to a less expensive home or even moved her here with us."

"Are you saying you'd want to care for my sister?" She asked completely confused at the direction the conversation had taken.

"Well not me personally, but if we moved her here you could retire and care for her."

Elsie sat quietly trying to digest what was being said.

"I've sent a few letters and found several other suitable homes that cost significantly less, do you know that if you just moved her farther inland the costs would almost be cut in half."

"I can't believe you Charles." She said softly.

He paused for a moment, trying to gauge if he was about to be praised or reprimanded.

"She is my sister. My only living relative-"

"You have me." He insisted.

"Do I? Oh well that is a comfort. Since I've a husband now I can say bugger all to the little sister I have helped care for since the day she was born."

"That wasn't what I meant-" He sputtered but was interrupted.

"You may not have any family left but I will remind you that you don't abandon family. If I could properly care for Becky I would in a heart beat but it would only put me in my grave quicker, though it would save you a great deal of money so perhaps we ought to take that into account."

"Don't!" He shouted. "Don't you dare say anything like that! I may not be a great husband but I wouldn't wish harm on you for anything."

"Truly? Then why would you ask this of me? Why would you ask me to sacrifice the happiness of my sister? I could move her yes, and many years ago I tried and you know what. It broke her heart. She has friends, she has a routine, her entire life is at that place. When I took her back she wept with happiness and I promised her that she would spend the rest of her life there no matter the cost. I could never uproot her, I could never hurt her like that. The fact that you would even suggest something like that boils my blood Charles. I warned you, multiple times before we married that I was a pauper with an obligation first and foremost to my sister and you assured me it didn't matter. I would rather work at Downton until the day I die then uproot her entire life like that."

She got up from the table and stormed off towards their bedroom. Charles paused for a moment completely panicked. He hadn't meant to upset her. It was only a suggestion, a thought. Thinking back now though he could understand her hurt. Her sister meant so much to her, she had sacrificed her personal happiness again and again and now he asked her to put her sister to the side so that he could be happy. He felt ashamed. After a moment he jumped up and quickly followed her to their bedroom only to find the door locked.

"Elsie honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't think before I spoke. It was a stupid idea, I never meant to cause harm. Certainly I don't wish any harm on your sister. Please love I am sorry. We will find another way."

He waited, listening closely to the door to see if there were any sounds from inside. He heard a gentle rustling then the door opened and his wife appeared. She thrusts his pajamas and his pillow into his hands and slammed the door again.

"Elsie-"

"I don't even want to look at you Charles. Enjoy the settee."


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: rating increase ahead. Thank you all for your kind words and reviews, they really do help keep me motivated. Also the obligatory these aren't my characters so please don't sue me. Enjoy!**

A crash from the kitchen awoke Charles with a jerk, as did the mumbled complaints of his wife. Looking around sleepily he tried to gauge what time it was. Clearly it was very early from the dark still looming outside the window of their living room. It had taken him ages to get to sleep and now his body felt like it had only had a few minutes rest. Thinking perhaps he could win some favor from his lady love, he got up and wandered into the kitchen to assist in whatever trials were unfolding.

She turned to look at him as he entered, she noted how terribly tired he looked and how his hair was wild. Clearly he had had just as restful a night as she had.

"Can I help?" He asked his eyes coming in to focus, suddenly keenly aware that he was without his warm robe.

"I can't get the toaster to work right." She complained moving instead to focus on pouring herself a cup of tea.

"Let me. I've had many a conversation with it regarding proper behavior." He said moving over to adjust the kitchen item in question.

"Who would have ever thought the day would come when you would be the one fixing the toaster?" She said sitting down at the table.

"If you'd have told me a year ago I'd have said it was more likely I would become king of England."

She laughed aloud at his comment. No matter how angry he had made her deep down she still loved him, and knew she always would.

After producing two perfect slices of toast with exactly the amount of butter she liked he sat down across the table from her. It was then he noticed how red her eyes were.

"You've been crying." He stated as she began to eat.

"Yes." She said focusing her gaze on the food in front of her, she had been desperately hoping he wouldn't have noticed.

"I'm sorry-"

"Charles I really-"

"No I need to say this. I know its early and you probably would prefer to just push this all aside for later but I cant. I am sorry Elsie, truly. What I said, what I thought was horrible and selfish. You were right when you said I don't have any family left, besides you that is, its been many many years since I've had to worry about the needs of my own family members. I feel so guilty when I think of all the times I valued what the Crawley family needed above you even before our understanding. When we married I promised you and myself that forever more you would be first and foremost in my life. Whenever it came to choosing between you and the Crawleys I knew my duty was to you first and foremost. I'm sorry that it took me so long to understand that you have had this struggle since you came to Downton. Having to put your sisters needs above your own time and time again. I can only say that I was so desperate for you to retire, to find some way that we could spend all our time together here in our home just as we did at Downton that any means to that end seemed logical. I hope someday you can forgive me for thinking even for a moment that we could in any way sacrifice the quality of Becky's life. She means the world to you and therefor she means the world to me and I would sooner cut off my own leg with a serving spoon then hurt her."

By the time he finished his speech she as well and truly touched. Tears began to softly pool in her eyes as she got up and walked over to her husband.

"I know that your thoughts came only from a place of love for me. For that I am truly grateful. I am more grateful though for a husband who understands the importance of family. We will find a way." With that she pressed a chaste kiss to her husbands lips.

"I love you Elsie." He said gently placing his hand on her hip as she stood beside him.

"I love you too Charlie. Now it seems I must get ready for work." She placed a soft kiss to his temple and left the room.

A few minutes later he followed her into their bedroom, pillow in hand.

"Am I allowed back in our bedroom now?" He asked from the doorway.

She turned to him while doing up the front buttons of her dress.

"Well since you're here you might as well." She said her tone light and playful.

He slowly walked back into their bedroom and gently placed his pillow back on his side of the bed. Turning towards his wife he watched as she adjusted her hair in the mirror and checked her general appearance. Looking at the reflection she noticed his forlorn expression.

"I was just teasing Charlie." She said moving to stand in front of him. "I don't ever want to sleep without you again." She said placing her hands on his shoulders.

"I feel very torn." he said gently placing his hands at her waist.

"What are you torn about?" She said enjoying the feel of his hands on her body again.

"Well you see right now you look beautiful and I know that in a few minutes you will have to leave to go up to the Abbey and I'll have to spend the day without you," he said, noting the smile crossing her face, "but I am torn because while I know you must leave all I want right now is to kiss you senseless and never let you leave this room." He said his fingers tightening their hold on her, slowly moving her body closer to his.

"Charlie that is-" and with that he cut her off with a searing kiss.

As his hands roamed her back and hers drifted into his hair she felt terribly guilty. The sheer amount of passion he was pouring into his kisses showed just how frightened he had been by their fight. While they still enjoyed a loving and exciting married life, kisses like these were few and far between. It felt like he was trying to pour every single ounce of love in his body into her and quickly she became swept up in the sensation.

His lungs burned with a need for air but he couldn't stop. He had had visions the previous evening of a life without his wife by his side and it terrified him. He wanted her to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved her and was sorry. She was the first to break the kiss, trying desperately to catch her breath, her cheeks pink and lips swollen. Charles paused for a moment, taking in large gulps of air while examining the state of his blushing bride. Without thought his hands drifted down and firmly grabbed her bottom, lifting her slight up and impossibly closer to his body. His lips found hers again as he turned them slowly maneuvering them towards the bed.

It wasn't until he laid her down on the bed that she even realized that they had moved. Gently she pushed at his chest as he lavished her neck in kisses.

"Charlie, we cant." She insisted with little effect on him. "Charlie, I need to go to work." She said, pushing with greater force on his chest.

He pulled back slightly, the sight of his wife below him with flushed cheeks made his blood begin to run farther south in his body.

"You can be late this once Els." He said and pushed his lips against hers, his tongue dueling with hers in a passionate dance. Elsie's resolve was gone and her hands traveled down to squeeze his bottom through the thin material of his pajamas.

"We must be quick." She insisted feeling his hands pushing up her skirt. His hands caressed her thighs as she worked quickly at the buttons of his pajama shirt.

Charles pulled back slightly and began to fumble with the tiny buttons of her dress, after a moment Elsie's desire and frustration took hold and she pushed her husband onto his back and quickly climbed atop him.

"We haven't time for that." She said pushing his hands away from her buttons. With little preamble she pushed aside the minimal amount of clothing that was obstructing their joining.

They both signed happily at the joyous and familiar sensation of their coupling. It was quick and raw. Elsie felt like a vixen atop her husband, watching the pleasure etch across his face as she pushed their bodies frantically closer.

Elsie was mumbling words he couldn't understand as she chased her pleasure. He lay in aw of his wife and the joy that they created together. His hands gripped her hips and tried to hold on as the pace increased. His body began to shake at the sheer power they were creating.

Elsie felt herself getting closer and closer, she looked down at her husband and recognized the look upon his face and knew his ultimate pleasure was not far off. As the bed squeaked under the strain of them Elsie briefly thought that she couldn't have been happier then at that moment. Then suddenly Charles yelled out. But something in his tone pulled her from her pleasure, looking down she saw pain registering in his face and his groans were now of distress and not desire.

"Charlie!" She cried, her voice raw and her breath escaping her, "What's the matter? What's happened?" She stopped her forceful rocking and tried to ignore the throbbing between her legs.

"My back! Oh God Elsie my back!" He cried out, his body seized up and unable to move.

Elsie quickly climbed off her husband and stood by the side of the bed watching him lay in agony.

"Honey, what can I do?" She asked, her breathing starting to calm and worry taking hold of her.

"Call the doctor!" Charles cried out as the pain intensified.

"Right! I'll be back in a moment." She said searching for her dressing gown.

"But for heavens sake help me pull my pants up first!" He shouted at her form as it disappeared down the hallway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Trying to update everyday, forgive me if I fail sometimes. Comments are greatly appreciated and help keep me going!**

"I'm afraid Mr. Carson you've sprained your back." Dr. Clarkson said pulling out his prescription pad from his bag. "I'm going to write you a prescription for some medication to help alleviate some of the discomfort but I'm afraid its strict bed rest for you for at least two weeks."

"Two weeks!" Charles cried from his position in bed. His wife, stood calmly in the corner gave a slight shudder at the thought. Her husband could be anxious and difficult under the best circumstances. She sincerely doubted that two weeks bored out of his mind would make him pleasant to live with.

"Unless you don't want to get better then you can hobble around the house in pain and prevent your body from healing."

"I will see that he stays in bed Dr. Clarkson." Elsie said stepping towards the side of the bed.

"What about…" Charles began.

"What about what Mr. Carson?" Dr. Clarkson asked handing the piece of paper to Elsie.

"What about…you know…certain functions that cant…that happen in the other room…" Charles stammered trying to control his embarrassment.

"I don't understand what you mean?" Dr. Clarkson said, gathering his items to leave.

"I believe my husband is concerned about what to do when he has to use the lavatory." Elsie said stepping in.

"Ah yes well, while I know bed pans are rather undignified, for the time being it might be the best solution. At least for the first week, the less movement the better. If you have any further questions feel free to reach me at the hospital."

"Thank you Doctor." Elsie said as she began to follow Dr. Clarkson out.

"Mr. Carson," Dr. Clarkson said, stopping in the doorway, "you say you were just lying on the bed resting when this all started?"

"Yes." Charles said cautiously, his cheeks reddening slightly.

"Odd, I've never heard of a man spraining his back laying down motionless…except for one case in medical school…" Dr. Clarkson grew quiet and noticed the blush appearing on Mrs. Carson's cheeks as well as an over all red sheen coming across Mr. Carson. He tried to stifle his laugh as he left the cottage, he was only too grateful that they had managed to be well dressed by the time he had arrived.

When Elsie came back in the room a few minutes later Charles looked more distraught then she'd ever seen him.

"How are you feeling love?" She asked gently sitting down next to him on the bed.

"Like an utter fool." He lamented.

"You aren't a fool." She said taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Maybe not a fool, but a broken down old man at least." He said squeezing back, his sorrow lessening with the presence of his wife.

"You aren't broken down. It just happened…do you think Doctor Clarkson figured out how?" She asked.

"Judging by the smirk he left with, yes dear I do believe he figured it out."

"Goodness, I'll never be able to face the man again." She said covering her face in embarrassment.

After a moment Elsie began to giggle.

"And what pray tell is so funny?" Charles asked, getting annoyed again. His moods seemed to be swinging on a pendulum this morning and he wasn't enjoying it.

"It's a bit amusing if you think of it, you've been injured while we were…well you know…and at our age. He must think we are a right pair of…oh I don't even know what!" At that she began to laugh outright.

"I don't think its funny Elsie! Its certainly put me off the idea of making love I can tell you that!"

"Are you saying that just because of that you never want to…be intimate with me again?" She asked, her humor now decidedly gone.

Charles didn't know how to respond. He'd put his foot in it clearly but didn't the woman understand the pain he was in. Not to mention the total embarrassment the situation had caused, how could she be thinking about carnal pleasure when he was facing the idea of using a chamber pot again!

"Charlie?" She prompted.

"Bugger it woman! I'm in pain, can you not just leave me alone for a bit!" The minute he'd said it he regretted it. They'd made so much progress but now it was all slipping away. He was now worried that when his back did finally heal he'd probably be sent back out to the settee again.

"Well I will go call the family and let them know the situation. Enjoy your time alone, I know I certainly will!" She said strutting out of the room and slamming the door behind her.

Almost an hour later Elsie returned to the bedroom to find Charles examining the ceiling of their bedroom.

"Anything interesting?" She asked, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Not really. Trying to pace myself if this is the only view I'll be having for the next two weeks."

"Well you'll be pleased to know you wont have to stare at my face, Lady Mary in on her way over." Elsie said crossing her arms.

"Lady Mary? Why on earth is she coming over? She can't see me like this!" Charles said his face turning red again, struggling in vain to sit up but finding it much too difficult.

"When I rang and told Mr. Barrow what had happened and that I needed to take some time off to care for you he just about lost his marbles. I've agreed to come to the house to explain a few things that will need doing to Mrs. Patmore and Ms. Baxter. I told him I would only come if he sent someone to come and sit with you in case you needed anything. I was expecting he would send Andy or one of the hall boys."

"And why isn't he? He shouldn't be imposing on Lady Mary!"

"Apparently when Lady Mary heard what had happened she insisted on being the one to care for you. In her words, you've spent most of your life caring for her it was time she return the favor."

"Oh God!" Charles exclaimed.

"I doubt he will do you any good." Elsie said, incredibly upset that her husband hadn't even responded to the fact that she was being forced to go to the house instead of caring of her husband.

"What if I need to use the facilities?" Charles asked completely mortified.

"I'll have to get a chamber pot from the attics so if you can mange until I return that would be ideal. If not I can stop by the hospital and see if they can send a nurse over to help."

"You'd best stop by the hospital then!" He said with such an authoritative air she felt she was speaking with the butler of the great house again and not her humble husband.

"Lady Mary should be here in half an hour. I'll ring the hospital now and see if they can spare someone. Perhaps they will send Mrs. Crawley."

"Stop right now! Stop Elsie! I know you are only trying to upset me further and it isn't bloody helping!"

"Watch your language Charles Carson! This isn't fun for anyone and yelling at me wont solve anything!" She said shooting back at him.

"Then stop trying to upset me further! I know you're doing it on purpose." Charles said his voice raising even more, anger at the world seeping from his pores.

"Fine then. I will leave you alone until your precious Lady Mary arrives. Perhaps you can attempt to me civil towards her because certainly you've not been trying with me." She shouted and left the room.

 _Well, this isn't how I expected this day to go._ Charles thought to himself. It was going to be a long two weeks. Frankly he was beginning to get worried that he wouldn't live to tell the tale.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay, graduate school has suddenly become absurdly busy. Bit of a slow chapter but I promise the next one will be more eventful. Also sorry about the short length. Finally decided it was better to post something shorter then wait until I felt it was long enough. Enjoy and as always please do let me know what you think!**

"How is the king of the castle?" Mrs. Patmore asked when Elsie came into the kitchen in search of a cup of tea.

"A grump if ever there was one." Elsie responded without missing a beat.

"Goodness, will he survive his illness?" She asked grinning.

"Only if he has a serious change of attitude. When I phoned the hospital they said I could request a nurse to come care for him but I'd have to pay for it."

"Can't you dip into your retirement funds? Might be worth it to save your marriage."

"I wish we could, but it seems the house we've purchased is going to cost a great deal to fix up. I will just have to take the time off and take care of him. I'm sure once he's out of it he will feel bad for how he's been speaking to me."

"One can only hope." Mrs. Patmore replied.

"Well I'd best get working on my accounts, I'll have a fair amount to do before I hand it all over to Ms. Baxter. Would you be able to do the ordering for the kitchen if I give you the store cupboard key?"

"I'd do anything to get me grubby hands on that key!" Mrs. Patmore proclaimed.

` "Don't get used to it, once I'm back I'll be prying it from those same grubby hands." Elsie said with a smile as she went back into her sitting room.

A short while later an idea popped into Mrs. Patmore's head, she mulled it over for a bit, worried she might be well and truly crossing a line with this. Then she thought back to the agony Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson had put her through regarding their engagement and figured they had no right to yell at her about anything ever again.

"Your ladyship, may I have a word?" Mrs. Patmore asked shyly as she came into the drawing room where Lord and Lady Grantham were sitting.

"Certainly Mrs. Patmore." Cora said sweetly.

"I take it your ladyship has heard about Mr. Carson's injury." Mrs. Patmore began.

"We certainly have," Robert said, "Poor devil, how is he getting on?" He asked, concerned about his old friend.

"The doctor is optimistic that he will heal though it will take a bit of time, what I wanted to talk to you about was his status actually. As you know Mrs. Hughes will be taking two weeks off to care for him while he recovers."

"Yes we had heard, poor dear. Its never easy caring for an ill loved one." Cora said, recalling the times she had cared for Robert. She often wondered how the worry alone hadn't pulled her under.

"I'm sure it is m'lady, but in their case I believe it is even more difficult. You see Mr. Carson is…a proud man, he doesn't take illness well."

"Who does?" Robert interrupted.

"I'm sure no one but it seems Mr. Carson is extra difficult. In fact its put a bit of strain upon their relationship."

"Really?" Cora asked surprised.

"You see when Mr. Carson is ill he can be very uncaring for those around him, while that's a bit annoying when he is your coworker, its rather devastating when its your husband." Mrs. Patmore said, hoping her meaning would be easily understood.

"You fear he's being too unkind to his wife?" Cora asked.

"I'm sure he doesn't mean to be," Mrs. Patmore said, recalling how fond the Crawley family was of the former butler, "but none the less he has already began being very unkind to Mrs. Hughes, I worry that since they've only been married a short while something like this could have a very drastic effect on their relationship."

"Is there anything we can do?" Cora asked.

Mrs. Patmore took a steadying breath before she continued, it was now or never.

"I think there might be, you see the hospital has offered to send a nurse over during the days to help care for Mr. Carson."

"Ah, problem solved." Robert said, feeling pride that he so easily found the solution.

"It would be m'lord, however they've told Mrs. Hughes that there will be a cost they will be expected to pay for such services."

"Is that a problem?" Robert asked incredulously, he knew both were paid well above what other staff in the area were.

"It is a problem as the house they purchased to rebuild is costing a great deal of money. They really have nothing to spare so now Mrs. Hughes will miss out on two weeks wages, all while caring for a very difficult Mr. Carson."

"I see-" Cora began before being cut off by Mrs. Patmore.

"I'd like to help pay for the cost of his care," she said eagerly. "However it would embarrass Mr. Carson to no end, not the last Mrs. Hughes, that is why I'm hoping perhaps the house can pay then dock the amount from my wages that way neither of them will know the truth."

"That is very kind of you Mrs. Patmore." Robert said, thinking the idea well thought out.

"It is very kind," Cora said pausing, "however we cant let you pay. We will cover the cost of Mr. Carson's care. He has been with us for a long time and looked after our family through thick and thin. This is the least we can do."

"Cora, are you sure?" Robert asked.

"Robert that man has stood beside us for most of his life, and were it not for his hands I have no doubt he would continue to work here until his last breath. Besides if it keeps Mrs. Hughes working here that will be invaluable to us. Edith and Bertie are coming next week and we both agreed to throw a gathering for them. I will certainly need Mrs. Hughes here to help me plan that."

"You are right of course, my dear." Robert said to Cora, then turning back to Mrs. Patmore. "Please go and tell Mrs. Hughes that we will be paying for Mr. Carson's care as he recovers. We have realized that we cannot lose her for two weeks and will happily cover the cost."

"Oh thank you m'lord. She will be very grateful!" Mrs. Patmore said hurrying from the room.


	5. Chapter 5

When Elsie walked through the front door that evening the first thing she heard was laughter. She stopped dead in her tracks just inside the door. Of all the sounds she had been expecting, laughter was not one of them. After a moment the rest of her senses kicked in and she noticed the wonderful smell radiating throughout the room. Someone had been cooking, and cooking well by the smell of it. Elsie tentatively walked into the kitchen and found a stew on the stove that smelled as though it had been sent down from the heavens. Certainly it was something far beyond the skill level of her husband. Her first thought was Lady Mary, she had been with Charles for most of the day. She'd only returned after the nurse had arrived and told her she had been hired on to care for Mr. Carson until he recovered. Perhaps Lady Mary made the stew, of course that certainly made no sense. Elsie couldn't remember the last time Mary stepped foot downstairs let alone ever having cooked there.

Deciding it was better to go in search of the answer instead of standing motionless contemplating she went towards the bedroom. As she got closer the laughter got louder which for some unfathomable reason made her stomach turn into knots.

"Hello?" Called a female voice from inside. Elsie felt a flash of anger and threw open the door and stormed in.

"Oh hello darling." Charles said from his position on the bed.

Next to him on a chair by the bed is a woman Elsie doesn't know, a pretty woman. A young woman.

"Hello, I'm Nurse FIlmore, but you can call me Molly. The hospital sent me over to help care for Mr. Carson." She said getting up and walking towards Elsie with her hand extended.

"Hello, I'm Mrs…Carson."

Noting the slight pause Elsie gave Molly hesitated for a moment.

"They call her Mrs. Hughes over at the Abbey. Its odd to hear you called Mrs. Carson." Charles said from his place on the bed.

"Ah, I understand. Well if you're home now I suppose that means I should be off. The stew is on the stove for you and is ready to eat whenever you'd like. There is some bread in the oven that should come out in about fifteen minutes. I'll see you first thing tomorrow." Molly said gathering her coat.

"Excuse me, you made bread?" Elsie said in complete shock.

"Yes, I hope you don't mind only Charlie mentioned that it had been a long time since he'd had homemade bread. It wasn't any trouble."

"Oh, yes…well thank you then. I'll see you out." Elsie said following behind the woman.

Returning a few minutes later Elsie felt a sense of unease about her.

"Elsie!" Charles called from the bed.

"Coming." She yelled walking back into the bedroom.

"I need to use the loo. I've had to go for ages." Charles cried from his position on his back, it was clear he was very uncomfortable.

"What? Why didn't you say? You've got the nurse here to help you with that sort of thing." Elsie chided coming to the side of the bed.

"I couldn't very well ask her to help me. She's far too young and pretty."

"Thank you very much for that!" Elsie exclaimed, clearly upset. Pulling Charles up into a sitting position, he cried out in pain.

"Well?" Elsie demanded.

"Well what? Are you helping me or not?" Charles said.

"Do you intend to apologize?" Elsie asked.

"Oh on earth for? Now please Elsie, I'm fit to burst." Charles lamented, trying in vain to stand up.

"Fine, we will discuss it later." Elsie said, trying to remember his pain but secretly feeling her own.

A while later Elsie brought a tray of stew and bread into her husband.

"Where is yours?" Charles asked quickly tucking into the meal with gusto.

"Its in the kitchen." Elsie said, expecting an invitation to join him eating in bed to be extended.

"Oh, you should get to it. This stew is absolutely delicious. I should get her recipe!" Charles said hastily eating his stew.

Elsie stood for a moment watching her husband, it was a puzzle to her. Sometimes he could be the most caring and generous of husbands, and sometimes he was the most selfish man on the face of the earth. She'd promised to love him for better or worse, she had just been hoping to have a bit more of the better before the worst.

"I've come to see if you need anything before I go to bed." Elsie said from the doorway. Somehow she didn't feel like entering the bedroom she shared with Charles. Somehow it felt like she didn't belong there.

"No I'm fine. I don't suppose we have money in our monthly budget to hire Molly to come cook for us?" Charles asked lightly.

"Certainly not!" Elsie said slightly to forcefully.

"I was only joke Els." He said, then held is hand up in the air waiting for hers.

She stood for a moment, hands on her hips trying to decide if she wanted to indulge him. Certainly he hadn't done anything to deserve her kindness. Somehow though she found the place he occupied in her heart drawing her towards his hand.

"Not a very funny one my love." She said taking his hand and sitting gently on the bed beside him.

"Molly said she will be back tomorrow. Can we really afford to have a nurse here with me during the day?" Charles asked.

"His lordship is paying for it-"

"What!? You cant be serious!? You cant let them-"

"Charles, his lordship is richer then Midas. To boot you are a very well respected and loved member of the household. They were only too happy to do it, despite how many times I tried to turn the offer down."

"You should have insisted!" Charles said letting go of her hand and folding his arms across his chest like a petulant child.

"In that case when she arrives tomorrow you can just send her home and sit here alone by yourself all day. Her ladyship made it clear that I was needed at the house. They arranged all this and are covering the cost, I for one am grateful for their help and I hope you can learn to be. Now if you don't need anything I'm going to bed. I need to be up early tomorrow and in a more pleasant mood then you!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you all for the lovely reviews! Please keep them coming! Apologies for any mistakes, I have no beta and no most of my writing late at night. Enjoy!**

When Elsie awoke the next morning she sent a silent prayer up for a happier day then the one before. By the end of the day she knew her prayer had been ignored. Charles had assured her the Molly would make him breakfast when she arrived, with that in mind she opted to forgo dirtying her own kitchen and headed to the big house for breakfast.

However by the time she arrived the servants breakfast was finished. With a grunt of annoyance she headed to the kitchen for a piece of toast and some tea. Hoping this would be the low point of her day she went into her sitting room to discover a leak from the pipe above her desk. In shock she dropped her tea cup which shattered everywhere as she rushed to her desk to save her ledgers.

At the noise Mrs. Patmore came running.

"Is everything alright Mrs. Hughes?" The cook called from the doorway, starring at the frantic housekeeper.

"For goodness sake don't just stand there help me clear my desk!" Elsie shouted. At that the cook hurried over and began grabbing items and moving them to safer places in the room. The cook noticed that along with her ledgers Elsie was clutching something to her chest.

"Looks like not too much damage done. The ledgers should dry out at least, looks like the ink is holding well enough." Mrs. Patmore notted while laying the books out to dry.

"Everything but this." Elsie said handing the cook the framed photograph of two girls Mrs. Patmore didn't recognize.

"Oh dear, maybe it can be saved?" Mrs. Patmore said noting that the water had severally damaged the photograph which had received no protection from the antique frame surrounding it. "Is it a special photo?" Mrs. Patmore asked.

"My sister and I, on holiday when we were little. It's the only photo I have of the two of us a children." With that Elsie turned her back to the cook and silently sobbed.

"There there Mrs. Hughes. We will take the photograph down to the photographer in town and see if he can do anything." Mrs. Patmore said rubbing soothing circles on the housekeepers back.

"I haven't time to walk down to the photographers. I've got a party to plan and a miserable husband to care for. I must have a black cloud hanging over me." Elsie lamented.

Suddenly a knock came from the doorway.

"Is everything alright Mrs. Hughes?" Mr. Barrow asked, taking in the sight of the leaking pipe, the ledgers scattered across the room and the clearly distraught housekeeper.

"There has been a leak Mr. Barrow," Mrs. Patmore said, "can you see about getting someone to fix it. We've moved everything for the time being."

"Has anything been damaged?" Mr. Barrow asked.

"Only a personal item." Elsie said, pushing her tears aside and pulling out her ever professional demeanor.

"An item very important to Mrs. Hughes," Mrs. Patmore interjected, "Perhaps she could have some time this afternoon to go down to the photographers and see if it can be mended?"

"I already told you, I haven't the time." Elsie chided.

"Then I shall take it down," Mr. Barrow offered, "I have to go into town anyway to pick up a few things for his Lordship. I will be happy to take the photo and see what can be done."

"You don't need-" Elsie began.

"Thank you Mr. Barrow," Mrs. Patmore said interrupting, "that would be greatly appreciated."

"Leave it all to me. Mrs. Hughes you may use my desk if you'd like. It may take a bit to get your sitting room back in order."

"Thank you Mr. Barrow. " Elsie sighed, resigning herself to the situation.

Finally, blessedly, the day had ended and Elsie made her way slowly home. The sun had already set and the path she usually knew so well was suddenly full of bumps and holes. She tripped early half the way home and rolled her ankle just before she got to the cottage door.

"Good evening Mrs. Carson," Molly said from her place in the kitchen.

 _What on earth is she doing cleaning the dishes!_ Elsie thought to herself.

"Hello nurse. How is the patient today?" Elsie asked trying to seem upbeat.

"He's much improved. We were able to get him up out of bed and walking all the way to the bathroom. I was able to help him bathe as well which was a great delight to him." Molly said sweetly finishing the last of the dishes.

 _I bet it was, dirty old man._ Elsie thought darkly.

"I'd best be off. There is roast duck in the oven that can come out in about fifteen minutes. I noticed you didn't have much in the way of food so Mr. Carson gave me your shopping list and I picked it all up this afternoon while he rested."

"Thank you," Elsie said, though it pained her greatly, "you didn't need to do that, tomorrow is my half day and I had intended to catch up on the shopping."

"It was no trouble. Mr. Carson figured you would rather rest on your half day. What time would you like me to come by tomorrow?" Molly asked gathering her coat.

"One o'clock please." Elsie said opening the door for Molly.

"See you then. Enjoy dinner!" Molly said cheerfully as she disappeared into the night.

Elsie glared at the retreating figure of the nurse. _I think tonight is a drinking night_ Elsie thought to herself as she made her way back to the kitchen.

"Hello?" Charles called from the bedroom. Heaving a great sigh Elsie left the bottle of wine she had selected on the counter and headed to the bedroom.

"Oh, you're home. I didn't realize, I thought Molly was still here." Charles said from his spot on the bed, now happily in a sitting position.

"I'm sorry to disappoint." Elsie said.

"Don't worry about that. How was your day?" Charles asked with a grin on his face.

"Awful as it happens." Elsie muttered taking a seat on the bed next to her husband.

"I'm sorry. Did you hear we have roast duck for dinner?" Charles asked excitedly.

"I heard." Elsie said, trying to not be surprised at her husbands disinterest in her horrible day.

"I hope she got the skin crispy like I like."

"I'm sure she did." Elsie said, getting up to go and fetch them dinner. Turning she noticed a new book on Charles nightstand.

"What's this?" Elsie asked, picking the book up and examining it.

"Frankenstein." Charles replied.

"What is it doing here?"

"Oh Molly started reading it to me. She's got a lovely voice."

"I thought we were going to read it together?" Elsie asked, sorrow written on her face.

"I know," Charles said, noting Elsie's expression, "but it will be a few years before you are retired and I have all this time on my hands. We can still reread it once you've retired, I'm sure you will like it."

"It was meant to be something for the two of us." Elsie said feeling very defensive.

"We are sharing a life together, isn't that enough?" Charles asked, unsure what the problem was.

"Maybe you'd like to share it with your precious Molly." Elsie asked getting angry.

"What are you on about?"

"Perhaps you should just run away with your perfect nurse."

"I'm hardly in a position to run." Charles said.

"What!? That is your response. I accuse you of wanting to run away with a beautiful younger woman and all you can say is, you cant run at the moment?"

"Elsie, you know I would never leave you." Charles replied bewildered at how the conversation had so quickly deteriorated. In vain he decided to switch topics to try to defuse his wife's anger. "You should probably take the duck out soon, we wouldn't want it to burn."

"Bugger you and your duck!" Elsie said storming from room and slamming the door behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

"Elsie!" Charles called from his position on the bed. "Darling, this isn't fair! I can't come find you. Elsie!"

Charles was beginning to get frustrated. He couldn't understand why his wife was so upset and now he could hear her storming around the kitchen and not responding to his calls.

 _For all she knows I'm having a heart attack,_ he thought to himself.

"Damnit Elsie! Come in here and talk to me." He cried out.

Suddenly the door swung open and Elsie appeared with a tray. Her eyes were red from crying but her countenance was like stone. Without a word she came into the room and deposited the tray with Charles' dinner on it gently on his lap and turned to walk away.

"Elsie, darling, please tell me what's wrong?" Charles pleaded.

"If you have to ask-" Elsie began.

"You knew when you married me that I was old to be trained as a husband, I'm sorry I'm not wiser to the ways of married life but I don't know why you are so upset. Please just talk to me."

"Why don't you just ask your precious Molly?"

"But she wont be back until tomorrow afternoon."

"Sometimes Charles, you are so painfully clueless. Tell me Charles, would it upset you if I were ill-"

"You know it would upset me if anything were to happen to you." Charles interrupted.

"You didn't let me finish! Would it upset you if I were ill and had some handsome young, male, nurse taking care of me?" Elsie asked, her hands on her hips, waiting to see the pain of recognition register on his face.

"Of course not." Charles said resolutely.

"What?" Elsie asked, feeling off balance by his quick answer.

"It would bother me that I couldn't care for you but it wouldn't bother me if you had a nurse." Charles said.

"Even one that was younger, and handsome?"

"Elsie, what are you getting at?" Charles asked, feeling very uneasy. "Are you unhappy in our marriage?"

"As of late yes, yes I am." She admitted.

He felt as though he had been punched in the gut. Despite their brief argument a few days before, he thought married life had been going wonderfully. He had no idea his bride had been unhappy. He felt shame wash over him.

"I'm sorry." He said softly.

"What are you sorry for?" Elsie asked, willing him to understand.

"That you are unhappy. I never…I never intended to make you unhappy." He said.

A silence fell over them as they looked calmly at the other. He felt as though he was watching her slip away from him. She felt as though his wall was building back up. How had it all gone so wrong so quickly? Terrified of what was happening Elsie looked around the room for a means to escape. It was too much, if he couldn't understand how could she make him? How could she explain to him that the young woman he was suddenly so fond of had made her feel so insecure so quickly? So insecure that her mind was making her doubt her husbands love for her. It was that very love that had got them into this position in the first place. Their overwhelming need to rectify their argument with a tangible expression of their love.

"I…um…have a lot of work to catch up on at Downton. I should probably forgo my half day this week. I'll call the hospital first thing and ask Molly to come over in the morning." Elsie said, biting her lower lip. Trying to stop any tears from forming.

"You don't need to do that. If you…if you want to be…away from me tomorrow that's fine. I can survive without you." He said, trying not to sound bitter but failing at it.

"You survived long enough without me." Elsie whispered.

"Elsie…do you…do you want me to move out?" He asked hesitantly.

She knew the right answer, she knew what she should say but somehow her bruised pride pushed down what she longed to say and instead blurted out the most cutting response it could think of.

"Where would you go?"

"I'm…I'm not sure. The Grantham Arms probably, the house on Brounker road might be livable if not very pretty."

The tension loomed in the air. Both of them silently wondering if this was it? Was this the end of everything that they had become?

"Is that what you want Elsie?" Charles asked, terrified of the answer.

"I want you to be happy." Elsie replied simply.

"And that's all I want for you." Charles said.

"I'll call Molly in the morning." Elsie said turning and leaving the room.

That night they both cried. Charles lay in bed, their bed, listening to her soft sobs from the other room. Holding his hand to his face he silenced his own as they drifted down in face and stained his pillow. What had happened? He wondered. Everything was fine. He was hurt but they were going to be okay. He knew he had been a bit testy the first day but since Molly had arrived things had been great. She was helping him heal and Elsie was free to work at the big house. Lying in bed he thought back to all the conversations that had occurred in the past few days, trying to figure out what it was that had upset his wife so dearly. Trying desperately to find some thread to explain where her sudden unhappiness came from. He knew his suggestions about her sister had upset her, upset her a great deal. But they had resolved that. Had she been unhappy prior to that? He didn't think so. If she had, then she'd been unhappy for months. Perhaps the whole of their marriage.

Thinking back over their time together he was almost certain that she had been happy on their wedding day. She had been happy on their honeymoon, or at least he thought so. She had begun to initiate their intimacies. He had assumed that was because she desired him as much as he her but perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps she had been attending to her wifely duties, the same wifely duties that he had made clear to Mrs. Patmore in no uncertain terms he was expecting. Lying in bed he had always imagined himself as a gentleman. Putting the needs of his lovely wife above his own, treating her always with the utmost respect. Perhaps however, perhaps he had just been a cad the entire time. Forcing martial attentions on his wife that she neither wanted nor desired. Guilting her into succumbing to the wifely duties they both knew he expected. He felt like a devil as he lay in bed. A horrible excuse for a man who had hurt the one person who meant the most to him in the entire world. That night, listening to the soft sobs of his wife, he knew there was only one way to fix it. And it would hurt more then anything else he had ever done.


	8. Chapter 8

**If you haven't read chapter 7 go back before venturing forward.**

The next morning Charles was awoken by Molly bringing in his breakfast tray.

"Where is my wife?" Charles asked, trying to hide the concern in his voice.

"She called me first thing this morning and asked me to come for the whole day. Apparently there was some issue at the Abbey and she had to delay her half day." She replied cheerily.

"Did she have anything with her?"

"Like what?" Molly asked, opening the curtains of the bedroom.

"A suitcase?"

"A suitcase? Why would she have a suitcase?" Molly said, rounding back towards the bed and noting the sad look on his face.

"No reason. Thank you for breakfast." He said beginning to eat.

As Molly headed back towards the kitchen to clean up she had a sinking feeling, like somehow it was happening all over again.

Taking a steeling breath Mrs. Hughes entered the library coming face to face with Lady Grantham and Lady Mary.

"Ah Mrs. Hughes, right on time," Cora began, "we have a great deal to discus-"

"If I may your ladyship I had something I wanted to address with you before we begin." Elsie said.

"Certainly Mrs. Hughes."

"As you know…Mr. Carson hurt his back recently, as he's been recovering I've been sleeping on our living room settee." Elsie stated.

"Don't you have a spare bedroom?" Cora inquired.

"We do however we've not put a bed in it as of yet." Elsie retorted.

"Forgive my bluntness," Mary interjected, "but why can't you just sleep in your bed?"

"The slightest movement causes him great pain." Elsie explained.

"Surely he's beginning to improve?" Cora asked.

"Yes, slowly. What I wanted to say was, with the current arrangement I've not been getting much sleep which is negatively impacting my performance. Would your ladyship be opposed if I were to move back into my room in the attic? Just until Mr. Carson is fully healed." Elsie asked, finally releasing the breath she hadn't noticed she'd been holding.

"I suppose that would be fine-" Cora began.

"Won't Carson miss you?" Mary interjected quickly.

"He will be fine without me." Elsie said coldly.

"Won't he need someone with him at night?" Cora asked.

"The hospital said they would send someone over to spend the night. That way if he needs help getting up someone will be there. I think it will be better for everyone this way."

"If you are sure." Cora said, very much doubting the whole thing.

Mary tuned the rest of the conversation out as she looked closely at the housekeeper. Clearly something else was happening, though she doubted that Mrs. Hughes would open up to her. Finally she decided to give it a few days and see how things were going, perhaps she needed to have another visit with Carson.

"Carson residence, Molly speaking." Molly answered from the hall phone.

"Hello Nurse, this is Mrs. Carson. I'm going to need to stay at Downton for a few nights. Would you be able to pack a few things into a case for me if I tell you where and what?" Mrs. Hughes asked.

"Certainly. Would you like me to put Mr. Carson on? He's been able to get up and walk a bit today. I could get a chair-"

"No, that wont be necessary. I'll be sending a hall boy down later to pick it up." Elsie said. "Now what I'll need is…"

Molly stood in the hallway for a few minutes wondering how to explain all this to Mr. Carson. Looking at the clock in the hallway she decided to delay and make lunch instead. Perhaps if he had a fully belly he might take it all better.

Sitting in her sitting room Elsie felt guilty. Sending a hall boy to get her bag, certainly Mr. Carson deserved better then that. Though, why exactly she couldn't understand. She wasn't leaving him…exactly, she was moving out. For a bit at least, a little bit, it wasn't the end of everything. Was it? Is that how he would take it? Certainly they had left things in an ugly place last night. He deserved better, he deserved to at least hear from her that she was moving back into the house, if even only for a little while. Resolving herself she decided that she would be the one to collect her bag. Perhaps that would ease her guilt a bit.

Bringing the lunch tray into Mr. Carson, Molly resolved herself to being as cheery as possible.

"Lunchtime!" Molly announced as she came in.

Charles put his book away as he grinned up at Molly. He was rereading Elsie's favorite book Wind in the Willows and smiling at the parts he knew she liked.

"This looks lovely." Charles said looking at the delightful tray Molly placed upon his lap.

"Mrs. Carson called a while ago." Molly began, trying to move slowly.

"Oh, what did she have to say?" Charles inquired, trying to seem unconcerned.

"Apparently they are having some troubles over at the big house. She's…she's asked me to pack a few items for her, it seems she has to spend the night there for a few days. She's called the hospital and arranged for someone to come and spend the night with you."

"She's what?" Charles asked, the color draining from his face.

"Just for a few days." Molly tried to reassure him.

"She's left me. I can't believe it." Charles began, his body shaking.

"I'm sure she hasn't left you-" Molly began.

"No she has, we had a row last night. She told me she wasn't happy anymore. I asked if she wanted me to leave. Its all over. I've lost her!" He began to sob, his body shaking with the effort of his sobs.

"Oh Mr. Carson, it will be okay." Molly said moving slowly towards him, unsure how to respond.

"I love her. I've always loved her and I've lost her. I don't even know what happened. My love…how have I lost her?" Charles cried out.

"Oh Mr. Carson, I'm sorry. You just need to talk with her. I'm sure its not as bad as you think." Molly moved over towards him on the bed and gently reached a hand out and patted his shoulder. Sobbing softly he reached up and grasped her hand.

Overcome by the emotion pouring out of the sobbing man before her she kneeled on the bed and wrapped her arms around him. Charles immediately pushed his head into her shoulder and cried out for all that he had suddenly lost.

After a few moments his sobs began to subside as Molly softly stroked his arm trying to calm him.

"I'm sure it will be okay Mr. Carson, we will figure something out." Molly said reassuringly.

Charles pulled back slightly looking over at Molly, feeling the streaks of tears running down his face. At that moment the bedroom door swung open and Elsie walked in. Pausing at the doorway she stopped and dropped her handbag, emitting a soft thud throughout the room. Taking in a deep breath she surveyed the scene before her. Molly with her arms around her husband and his glaring up into Molly's eyes.

"What the bloody hell is going on!?" Elsie shouted.

 **Mild spoiler below, hesitate before reading**

 **I promise everything will end happily.**


	9. Chapter 9

**So sorry for the LONG LONG delay in this update. I'm in graduate school in a writing program and by the time I get all the school work I need to done it leaves very little creative energy for much else. Hopefully I will update this soon but I cant promise…sorry!**

"Elsie! You came back!" Charles exclaimed from his position on the bed. Molly immediately jerked back and stepped away from the bed.

"A bit early it would seem for my husband and his whore!" She cried, ignoring the scene and stomping over to the closet. With quick movements she pulled out her suitcase and unceremoniously dropped it on the bed.

"Ow!" Charles yelped as the force of the suitcase caused the bed to shake. "Elsie how dare you call Molly a whore, she is a kind person and a good nurse-"

"I don't want to know anything about how she's nursing you back to health!" Elsie began to frantically pull her clothes from the dresser and fill the suitcase haphazardly.

"Mrs. Carson, I can assure you nothing inappropriate has occurred!" Molly said, still standing near the wall her face red with shame.

"Elsie, my love, how could you ever think…"

"Do you know how you've treated me Charles?" She asked, suddenly stopping her movements and putting her hands on her hips.

"What do you mean?"

"You've treated me horribly since your injury, and ever since Molly arrived its been Molly this and Molly that. Clearly you have great affection for her…certainly more than you have for me."

"Is this why you told me you've been unhappy in our marriage?" Charles asked astonished.

"I should go in the other room." Molly said attempting to make a hasty retreat.

"There is no need Molly. I've just come to collect me things and then you and Charles can go back to whatever it was you were doing before I interrupted."

"Elsie, all Molly was doing was comforting me while I sobbed like a small child." Charles insisted.

"I don't believe you." Elsie said simply.

"It's the truth. I told him that you had called and said you'd be staying at the Abbey and he burst into tears. He thought you had left him forever."

Elsie eyed the two of them closely, still unsure about what she believed.

"I am first and foremost a nurse Mrs. Carson, and when I see someone in such utter pain and despair as I did when I told your husband you weren't coming back I did the first thing I could think of to bring him comfort. It was in no way a…romantic…thing. I simply wanted to help a hurting patient."

Tears began forming in the corner of Elsie's eyes.

"Charlie…" Elsie put her hand to her mouth to stifle her sob.

Without hesitation Charles began to pull himself up from the bed.

"Mr. Carson, please you mustn't get up." Molly cried.

"Shut up!" He yelled, limping towards his wife, his face distorted in pain at the movement.

"Elsie, my love. I would never-" He began as he placed his arms around her.

"Why Charlie, why have you been so unkind?" She asked as she continued to weep.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away and made you feel bad. I didn't mean it truly. I just…I felt like such a…such a broken old man." He began, his hands rubbing soothing circles on Elsie's back. "You have spent your whole life caring for others, your sister, all the servants at the Abbey, I…I foolishly thought that when we married finally I could take some of that burden away. That I could care for you, perhaps lessen your load. This illness, it made me realize that I cant-"

"Charlie," Elsie interrupted.

"No Elsie, let me finish. Its true, maybe if I was in the thirties I could but now…at this age I'm little more than a broken down old clock you have to keep winding to keep going. It isn't fair, I wanted to be so much more for you then this. Somehow I let those thoughts fester and I took all my anger out on you. Molly…its true that Molly has made me feel better. She's made me feel younger, she's made me think that maybe when I'm healed I can still be that young man you so deserve. I know its silly but somehow having her around has made me feel young again. But…but it was never youth to covet her. Its you Elsie…its only ever been you. For all these years. I'm so sorry I've made a mess of this. I'm sorry I've made you so unhappy. All I want is your happiness Elsie. Whether it includes me or not is…irrelevant." Charles dropped his arms from around Elsie and turned towards the wardrobe. Gently he pulled out a few of her clothes and walked back slowly in great pain towards the bed and placed the items in her case.

"What are you doing Charlie?" Elsie asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I love you Elsie, and if you want to leave, if that is what will make you happy then I will do what I need to do." Charlie replied and turned back towards the wardrobe.

"Stop that you silly man." Elsie cried rushing back into his arms. Charles hissed in pain but put his arms back around his wife quickly, dropping soft kisses into her hair.

After a moment they heard the door close and slowly pulled apart. Slowly they glanced around and noticed that Molly had left the room.

When the realization that they were alone finally processed they stood pressed together, looking into each others eyes.

Time seemed to stand still, neither knowing what to say.

"Don't leave me." Charles said softly, his voice breaking.

Unable to respond with words Elsie leaned up and pressed her lips softly against his.

It wasn't a passionate kiss, it wasn't laced with lust and promise. It was something deeper then that, a melting of flesh together, simple and pure. They felt no need to push forward, to taste each other, they already knew the taste, they knew what more would feel like. The restraint of the kiss gave it the power, a pressing of lips designed to press their hearts back together.

When they parted they both felt breathless and somehow renewed with joy. Charles took her hand and gently led her to the bed. Gently he eased himself down, Elsie giggling slightly at the grunts he made as he maneuvered himself. With a gentleless she didn't know she possessed she settled herself next to her husband, her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest, her leg just slightly over his in subtle possession. Charles pressed a kiss to the top of her head, settled on hand on her hip and the other he entwined with her fingers on his chest.

It was going to be okay, he thought to himself. It would all be okay.

Several hours later Molly was getting anxious, it was long past when Mr. Carson was due for his pain meds. Before she hadn't hesitated to interrupt whatever he was doing, knowing ultimately the medication would do more good for him but this time she was unsure. She hadn't heard any noise coming from the bedroom, no sounds of an argument or a make up. As softly as she could she pushed the door of the bedroom open just a tiny fraction and peered in. She saw the two lovers holding each other in bed, fast asleep with smiles on their faces.


	10. Chapter 10

Elsie awoke with a start. The room was dark and it took her a moment to realize where she was. And who she was with. Sighing happily she gently stroked her husbands chest. She felt better than she had in days. Certainly things were not perfect between them, and they'd have a great deal to discuss. They would need to find ways to navigate illness without the same unpleasantness but she felt pride knowing her husband was just as devoted as she was. Despite them both having a momentary lapse.

As she stroked his chest Charles began making soft murmurs. She thought they were a product of ill-timed arousal however it became clear quickly he was in distress.

"Charlie, what is it? What do you need?" She asked sitting up now and gazing at her hurting husband.

"My pills, I need my pills." He said, wincing at every movement of the bed.

Elsie quickly got out of bed and began searching however since she'd not been the one caring for him she was unsure where to find the needed medication.

"Charlie, I'll…I don't know…I'll just run to the sitting room and see if Molly is still here. She should know where they are."

Charles gave a small nod as Elsie quickly left the room.

Her face was flush as she came into the sitting room and Molly was a bit startled, surely they hadn't…certainly not, she'd have heard some noise if they had. Certainly with Mr. Carson's back still in a state it would be most unwise.

"Molly, do you know where my husbands pills are?" Elsie said, a bit annoyed the woman was still in the house after all she had caused.

"Yes," she replied, going into the kitchen and returning a moment later with a tray, complete with warm soup, water and tablets. "He needs to eat with them, though he dislikes eating outside the appointed hour."

"Thank you." Elsie said taking the tray from Molly and turning to go back to Charles.

"Perhaps once you've given him his tray we could have a word. I feel we should speak briefly before I leave for the day." Molly said.

"I suppose we should. Give me a few moments." Elsie said silently dreading the impending conversation. She'd have to admit she over reacted, that she was jealous and insecure. None of those seemed appealing things to have to admit to a woman thirty years her junior.

"Ah, thank you darling but I only need the tablets." Charles said upon seeing the tray.

"You shall eat all of this soup as well." She said curtly.

"I'm really not-"

"Charles, things may be mildly resolved between us but I'm still not best pleased. I'm about to go have a chat with Molly about the events of the last few hours and the last thing I need is to be worrying about my troublesome husband. Now eat the soup and if I return and there is even a drop still in that bowl I shall tie you down like a rouge hog and force it down your gullet myself!"

With that Elsie turned and quickly left the room.

Molly was pacing in front of the fire when Elsie entered. They eyed each other for a moment. It wasn't until then that Elsie noticed how red and puffy Molly's eyes were. Certainly she understood what that meant, she knew she'd looked similar only a few hours before.

"Mrs. Carson-" Molly began, only to be interrupted by Elsie's hand.

"Nurse…Molly, I just want to apologize."

"Oh no, its me who should apologize-"

"No it isn't. I was jealous and vain and jumped to ill-founded conclusions. I'm sorry for my behavior and the unkind language I used towards you."

"Oh Mrs. Carson, I understand. This has happened to me before."

"Really?" Elsie asked in shock. Though inwardly she was somewhat relieved that she wasn't the only jealous wife in all of England.

"Yes, the last post I had was as a private nurse for a wealthy family in Coventry. It was a lovely place and I was very happy there. Until the mistress of the house got it into her mind that I was plotting to steal her husband. It all ended so dreadfully I ran away in the middle of the night."

"My word, how did you get a reference here if you left under such circumstances?" Elsie asked.

"Dr. Clarkson is my uncle." Molly said shyly.

"Ah, I see. And a good uncle to have too." Elsie said sympathetically. The poor thing had been through such a trial. And now Elsie felt guilty for adding to it.

"He was the one who encouraged me to be a nurse. I do enjoy it, truly but…I'd not anticipated this sort of thing happening. Uncle Richard recommended me to this post because he knew you and Mr. Carson were so devoted to each other…"

"Goodness, and all we've done is proven we are just as flawed as young lovers." Elsie said with a sigh.

"I'll collect my things and go. I can have another nurse sent tomorrow if you still require one. I would understand if you'd like to care for your husband now."

"I both would and I wouldn't." Elsie said, finally sitting down on the settee with a groan.

"But surely-" Molly began, taking the seat next to Elsie.

"While this has been an unpleasant situation I am not naive enough to think my husband will change his ways so quickly."

"He isn't that bad surely…"

"Has he been a peach to you this entire time?" Elsie asked.

"No, of course not. But I grew up with four brothers, I'm rather used to moody men."

"Ah, well I've stood by Mr. Carson's side for many years now and I know him well enough to know that while he does desire to change his ways occasionally, it takes a great deal of work. And frankly, for the state of our marriage I'm not inclined to be around as he adjusts."

"I suppose that is reasonable. I'll speak with Mrs. Crawley and see what other nurses can attend to Mr. Carson-"

"Would you not consider staying on?" Elsie asked incredulously.

"I…well I certainly would stay on but I just assumed after all this-"

"The afore mentioned unpleasantness has been cleared up. I doubt we shall have a repeat of the issue, I shall certainly do my part."

"Of course. If both yourself and Mr. Carson would like me to stay on then I am happy to do so."

"Perfect. I think though that with all that is happened it may be best if we continue with the latest plan, that is I shall stay at Downton for the remainder of Mr. Carson's recovery."

"Surely that won't be needed? He'd be terribly sad without you." Molly pleaded.

"What is it they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. And truly another night on this settee would do my back in as well, then we'd have two unhappy patients. No, I shall pack a few things and return to my old rooms. I will call every day to check in on Mr. Carson's progress and I'll visit as often as I can. Once he gets the all clear from Dr. Clarkson I will return. I think it better for everyone sanity that way."

Charles lay in bed anxious. He could hear chatting from the other room but it was soft enough he couldn't make out what was being said. He was unused to eavesdropping and certainly disliked how inefficient it could be from ones sick bed. Finally he heard steps coming towards the bedroom and he checked his bowl of soup for any stray droplets, least he be force fed by an angry Scot.

He felt relief when Elsie appeared with a smile upon her face. Clearly the conversation hadn't gone as badly as she'd been expecting.

"Charlie my dear," she said taking a seat in the chair next to the bed, "how are you feeling?"

"Better, the pills are beginning to kick in. The question is how are you my dear heart?" He asked, unbothered by the term of endearment that had quickly escaped his tongue.

"I am fine but…I think it would be best if I went back to Downton for a few days."

"What?" Charles said, startled and panicking, had they truly not cleared this all up? Had their cuddle been for naught?

"I'm not leaving indefinitely. Just while you recover. I think it best. Molly will stay on during the day and the hospital will send someone at night."

"But I want you…" He said meekly, unsure how to convince her.

"And you shall have me again, when you are better. I know you feel bad for how you behaved, as well you should, but I am not innocent enough to think either of us will completely change our ways before you are healed."

"I will try-"

"And I appreciate that but this is for the best." She said.

"I shall miss you." He said, taking her hand and squeezing it.

"I shall miss you too love, but it won't be for long." She said pressing a soft kiss to his hand, "And just think what fun we shall have when we are reunited."

"When my back is healed." He said with a smile.

"When your back is healed." She said leaning in to press a chaste kiss to his lips.


	11. Chapter 11

It turned out that Elsie spent nearly three weeks sleeping at the big house. Charlie had begun to improve but it seemed his body was taking longer to heal than initially expected. Elsie suspected his body was catching up from years of exhaustion. Hers however seemed to be in a near state of exhaustion.

She'd gotten used to their bed in the cottage. She missed the space especially. The first night she'd awoken in the early hours and rolled over, trying to snuggle up to the warm bulk of her husband but instead found herself on the very edge of the bed, desperately trying to keep herself from falling out.

After a few days though her body adjusted to being back in the small space, her mind however had not. As she lay in bed at night she couldn't help but think of her husband. Worrying what he was doing, was he in pain, was he eating well? Since their marriage she'd gotten used to almost always having her eyes on him. Seeing him and making sure he was alright. The distance between them now seemed like a great cavern and her mind cycled through outrageous scenarios all day and all night.

She was able to call him though, twice a day. Once after breakfast and then just before bed. He assured her that if he needed anything during the day he would call her but alas most days came and went without a call. Secretly she was hoping he'd call one day and beg her to come to the cottage. That he couldn't stand to be away from her presence a moment longer and she must come quick and reassure his lovelorn heart. Of course this never happened. She was a fool to think it would. During the season they went months without seeing each other. In fact she could go weeks without even a letter from him before the young ladies had married.

Though he hadn't called and begged her to come to him she had managed to visit him every three or four days. Usually by skipping her lunch and walking down to the cottage. They'd usually have a cup of tea as Charles described what he'd been up to and Elsie would indulge Charles in all the gossip from the big house. He always protested that he didn't want to hear any of the gossip and yet his ears always perked up when she mentioned some comment this hall boy had made or a mistake a maid had made.

After two weeks Charles had been declared fit and well enough to no longer need a nurse and Elsie had hoped to move home that very night. Her plans however had been ruined by the announcement that Edith and her husband would be coming down later in the week to show off their new baby boy and Lord and Lady Grantham wanted to have a celebration in honor of the new arrival.

While in her hay day Elsie could throw a large party together with a snap of her fingers the house had long since gotten out of the habit of throwing big parties. She'd been forced to work so late on Monday that the hour in which she could reasonably get home and still get enough sleep had passed. The second day had ended much the same and Elsie was beginning to get annoyed at the situation.

On Wednesday Charles sat alone in the cottage for the third day in a row feeling like he was at his wits end. He'd already given the cottage a thorough cleaning in preparation for Elsie's return. He'd ventured to the village to refill the supplies for the larder. He'd been a bit annoyed with how long the journey had taken him and how winded he was when he'd finally made it back with an armful of goods. Luckily though he felt no pain from his back as he'd unloaded all the items and shuffled about the cottage.

Looking around the room he decided he would read the morning paper again for the third time perhaps there was an interested detail somewhere in it that might keep him occupied for a short while. He hoped against hope that Elsie would be home that evening. He'd missed her greatly though he hesitated to tell her. He didn't want to burden her with his own despair. Didn't want her to know the extend of his loneliness. While the nurse had proved good company nothing compared to his wife. Her gentle Scottish tilt as she puttered about the house, the way she'd eye him over her book as he yawned in the evening. The way she filled his arms in the early hours, when they were making love as the sun began to slowly rise in the sky.

He'd begun to blush as he opened his paper and began to reread. Suddenly there was a knock at the front door and his heart stopped for a moment, thinking perhaps it might be his wife. He jumped up out of the chair and was rewarded with a sharp pain in his knee for his effort. Hobbling slightly he got to the door and opened it without any hesitation.

"Lady Mary," Charles said, his voice faltering slightly as he tried to hide the disappointment.

"Hello Carson." She replied standing awkwardly at the door.

After a moment of hesitation Charles realized Lady Mary was awaiting and invitation and immediately stepped aside.

"Please come in."

"Thank you Carson. I can't stay long, I just came to see how you were feeling."

"Much better my lady." Charles replied as he guided her into the living room.

Eyeing the options around the room Lady Mary choose to sit on the corner of the small sofa. Charles awkwardly took his usual place in his large armchair.

Lady Mary realized she'd never actually visited the Carson's cottage, at least not after they moved in. The furniture was nice, older, but nice. Small knick knacks adorned the walls and shelves. Mrs. Hughes doing no doubt, she thought to herself.

"How are the children doing my lady?" Charles asked, noticing how Lady Mary was examining every inch of their modest home.

"Quite well thank you, master George is rather enjoying his role as big brother. I'm sure once Miss Violet gets bigger they will become best of friends."

"No doubt."

"But enough about the children, how are you feeling Carson? Truly?"

"I am well my lady, my back has healed and gives me no trouble."

"Then I take it Mrs. Hughes will be moving back in shortly."

"She was supposed to come back on Monday but unfortunately she was needed at the house." Charles said, a slightly sorrow apparently in his voice.

"Oh that's no good." Lady Mary said, surprised by the revelation.

"We don't mind. The needs of the house come first." Charles said resolutely.

"Perhaps before the war but now…well times are different."

"They may be different but Mrs. Hughes has a job and she and I both understand that sometimes allowances must be made." He said, feeling very uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had taken.

"Well that may be but it isn't right, Edith always seems to bring destruction wherever she goes." Lady Mary said.

"That may be a bit of an exaggeration. Besides the house kindly paid for my expenses during my illness which was very kind."

"Its no less than you deserve. But don't worry Carson, I will make things right."

"My lady, please, Mrs. Hughes and I are both of the understanding that she will be at the house until after the party on Saturday at least and we've made peace with it. There is no way around it."

"Perhaps…" she trailed off.

"My lady, I do appreciate your kindness, you know I do but I must ask you not to press this matter."

"Of course, but I will insist in Mrs. Hughes having Sunday off. That is the least we can do."

Charles hesitated for a moment. He should argue with Lady Mary, tell her it simply couldn't be done. But if the years had taught him anything it was that when Lady Mary had made up her mind nothing would change it. Deciding it would be more gracious to admit a humble defeat then continue the fight Charles relented.

"That would be most kind Lady Mary." He said simply.

"Good. Now have you enough to eat? Should have I have one of the hall boys send you supper? Or perhaps you can come to the big house for meals if the walk isn't too much for you."

"I am quite alright here my lady."

"I'm sure you are but wont you come tonight at least. I was planning on visiting the village before I returned to the house and I could stop by and we could walk together." She said, in the coy way she knew Mr. Carson couldn't resist.

With an half smile on his face he replied, "Only if you allow me to carry the basket."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello all. I'm hoping to continue this piece on a more regular basis. Please leave a review if you have a moment to spare, they are very much appreciated.**

Elsie was surprised by the knock on her door. Flabbergasted that anyone could have the courage after she'd explicitly stated she wasn't to be disturbed for the whole of the afternoon.

"Yes,." She replied tersely, ready to take off the head of whatever sorry staff member walked through her door.

Her anger dissipated however when she saw the great bulk of her husband standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Hello," she said getting up from her chair and going over to him. "This is a pleasant surprise." She said leaning up to give him a kiss.

Charles leaned down slightly and presented his cheek to his wife expecting a soft peck, he was rather surprised however when her lips landed on his own and immediately he pulled back from her.

"Mrs. Hughes, really, its working hours." He chided.

Immediately she stepped away from her husband. Clearly he wasn't missing her as much as she was missing him.

"What brings you by Mr. Carson?" She asked with a slight hint of ice in her voice.

 _I've done it now_ , he thought to himself. He quickly shut the door and moved farther into the room. Taking one of her hands in both of his, squeezing it gently he gave her his most heartfelt smile.

"I've come to give you some news." He said.

"Yes?" she said, softening to him. He could be a surly bear at times but he was still her loving husband beneath it all.

"Lady Mary came by the cottage today to see how I was doing."

"That was very kind of her."

"Yes it was. She was a bit surprised to learn that you hadn't moved back into the cottage yet."

"Really?" Elsie asked, surprised that Lady Mary would have an opinion one way or the other.

"She's decided that as a thank you for all your hard work you are to have all of Sunday off."

"Really? Has she cleared this with his lordship?" Elsie asked confused by the sudden announcement.

Charles faltered for a moment. Lady Mary had decided it while visiting with him, but perhaps it was Lord Grantham who needed to give the authority. He felt his stomach sinking, he'd so been looking forward to having his wife to himself for a day.

"Well that is extremely kind of her. I should thank her later today." Elsie responded.

"Good good, then I shall plan to see you on Saturday evening. Would you like me to come to the house to pick you up?" He asked.

"Of course not. I'll have one of the hall boys escort me home, or ask Mr. Branson to drive me to the cottage, though it may be very late in the evening."

"I'll keep a light on for you." He said, a smile illuminating his face. "I suppose I should be returning to the cottage now. Wouldn't do to be in the way."

"Oh Charles," she said stepping closer to him and placing her palm gently against his chest. "its nearly supper, why don't you stay and eat with us? I'm sure everyone would love to see you and I'd like to know you're eating well."

Charles smiled down at his wife and placed a tender kiss to her temple.

It was almost three am Sunday morning when Mr. Branson drove Mrs. Hughes to her little cottage on the far side of the estate. The hour was so late she'd tried to simply stay at Downton but Lady Mary refused her and insisted Tom take her home. Clearly Lady Mary understood what it was like to be separated from a loved one, though Elsie still had difficulty imagining that the young woman considering anyone elses feelings besides her own.

She chided herself for the thought, she ought to be grateful to Lady Mary. Because of her Elsie could now look forward to a full day of rest with her husband. Though she hoped it wouldn't be too restful. As embarrassed as she was to admit it she was missing her husband very much, in a very carnal way.

She'd been so worried about that side of marriage, nearly calling off the entire wedding over it. But now, some months in she was glad she hadn't. As wanton as it was to admit she rather enjoyed the more physical aspects of marriage. Certainly Charles enjoyed them as well, hardly more than three or four days passed without a subtle sign of desire between the two. An evening kiss that lasted a moment longer than needed, his firm hand gently caressing her bottom, or her own hand tenderly squeezing his thigh. They'd learned a silent language the two of them, one of desire and love and lust that needed only the softest touch of skin to be spoken.

Elsie hoped her cheeks weren't as blushed as they felt. She'd be horrified if Mr. Branson had any idea of the thoughts going through her mind.

As they turned the final corner towards the cottage Elsie could see the light in the parlor was on. As the lights of the car came into view a figure appeared at the window and Elsie's breath caught in her throat at the outline of her husband. Standing ram rod straight behind the soft lace curtain. She was rather surprised to see he had stayed awake, though she was immeasurably pleased by it as well.

"Here we are." Tom said from the drivers seat. "Seems someone is expecting you."

"So it does." Elsie said, taking a moment to look at the young man sitting next to her. She hoped he might find love again soon. He knew he loved his daughter dearly but it was something all together wonderful to have a spouse to go home to at the end of the day.

"Goodnight Mr. Branson." She said as she got out of the car.

"Goodnight Mrs. Carson." He said with a wink before driving off.

Charles stood in the open door way in his night clothes and robe. Elsie chuckled to herself slightly, of course she couldn't expect him to remain in his day clothes at this late hour but it was still rather funny to see the proud former butler of Downton Abbey trying to look stern in the silk pajamas his wife had bought him.

"I was afraid you wouldn't come." He said following her into the sitting room where she sat down with a thud.

"I was beginning to worry myself." She responded holding her hand out to him and gently pulling him towards her on the sofa.

Elsie noticed a bit of tension about. He seemed almost uncomfortable sitting beside her now. Weeks ago he would have put his arm around her and she would have gently rested her head on his chest. Tonight however he retained a distance between the two and while he did stroke her hand lovingly it wasn't the affection she had been hoping for.

"I should take your case into the bedroom, I imagine you're very tired." He said getting up and gathering her small valise from its place besides the sofa.

"I am." She agreed, though not immediately getting up.

"Well then off to bed then. We've got all of tomorrow to relax." He said.

"Yes of course." She begrudgingly agreed and followed him into the bedroom.

Once in bed she'd rather hoped the air might change. That his standoffishness might dissipate and they could go back to how they had been before the ghastly business of his back had arisen. But there was no luck in that thought. Charles plumped his pillow and laid flat on his back while Elsie pottered about the room getting changed. When she finally got in bed she laid down on her back as well, expecting or hoping that her husband might make some show of affection or desire. Instead he tenderly took her hand and squeezed it.

"Its nice to have you back home." He said bringing her palm to his lips and kissing it.

"Its nice to be home." She said squeezing his hand back.

For a moment they both looked at their joined hands, both unsure what to do or say next. Finally Charles laid her hand back down on the bed and turned over and closed his eyes.

Sleep came easily for him that night but his wife lay beside him completely bewildered. Had the few weeks away really undone everything?


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Hello all! Sorry for the delay. I've been working on my MFA and its taken very bit of spare time I have. I hope to update more regularly soon. Please review if you've a moment. Best!

Elsie awoke slowly the next morning, enjoying the feeling of her body waking leisurely and of its own volition. Perhaps she could have an even more pleasant morning she thought to herself. Gently she reached her hand across to where Charles lay next to her, but instead of touching the alluring skin of her husband she touched only the cotton of their bed sheets. Slowly she sat up and glanced around the room only to see that Charles was nowhere to be found. She faltered for a moment before donning her robe and going in search of him.

She wasn't best pleased when she found her husband. He was sitting in the kitchen, a cup of tea beside him as he read the local paper. What displeased her most was that he was fully dressed for the day. Clearly her hopes of a passionate reunion would not be fulfilled.

"Charles, what are you doing up so early?" She asked sitting beside him and taking a piece of toast from his plate.

"Its almost nine thirty! That's hardly early Elsie."

"Its early when you've been given the day off, that I can assure you." She replied between bites.

"You forget my dear that I've been stuck in that bed for weeks."

 _Alone_ , she thought to herself.

"What would you say Elsie if I told you we were going to have a picnic today?"

She hesitated for a moment. He looked so happy. How could she tell him she wanted nothing less in the world. That all she wanted was to climb back into their bed and wrap her arms around him so tight they morphed into one being. It was wanton. It was inappropriate even for a wife. And certainly that kind of desire would scare Charles Carson more than Kaiser Wilhelm.

"That sounds lovely Charles, but do we even have anything in for a picnic? I've certainly not done any shopping lately."

"I've arranged it all. Mrs. Patmore is having a basket sent over for us in half an hour." He said smiling broadly.

"Goodness, you've thought of everything. I suppose I should go dress for the day then." She said taking a final sip of tea and leaving the room.

Elsie let out a shudder as she heard a knock at the front door. Their picnic. Certainly it was kind of Charles to arrange everything but she only wished he'd asked her first. She was tired. The past few weeks had been a great strain on her and she was beginning to wonder if retirement might be in the near future. It was a thought that both terrified and excited her. Something she wished to discuss with her husband and certainly not the subject for a relaxing picnic.

"Elsie!" Charles yelled from downstairs, "Ready when you are!"

Letting out a breath Elsie left their bedroom, determined to have a good day.

Charles was being especially fickle today. He wanted to find the perfect spot for them to lay down their blanket and no matter how far they went nothing looked right. The spot had to have some shade from the bright sun of the day, but it shouldn't be so densely surrounded by trees that it offered no cooling breeze. He wanted something private from prying eyes but not so obviously obscure as to make any accidental passers by suspicious about their intentions.

As Charles trudged ahead he tried to ignore the annoyed huffing coming from behind him. He could tell she was annoyed but he wanted the day to be perfect, why must she be so difficult? Didn't she appreciate all he was trying to do?

As Charles slowed slightly to gauge the dampness of the ground below him he heard a yelp. Turning quickly he watched in horror as Elsie fell sideways onto the ground.

"My darling!" he called as he rushed over, helping her sit up.

"Oh Charlie…" she said fighting tears as she reached down towards her ankle.

"What happened?" He asked, his eyes scanning her form quickly, trying to ascertain if she was seriously injured.

"I turned my ankle. I feel like such a clumsy fool." She said, untying the laces on her shoe.

"My goodness. Here let me help you." He offered as he sat down next to her. Gently pushing her hands aside he quickly untied the laces and began gently easing the shoe off her foot. Elsie was catapulted back to the times when she would watch him polish the silver. How his nimble fingers did such delicate work. It confounded her mind that such a large, strong creature as her husband could be so incredibly tender and graceful.

He began to gently massage her ankle, hoping to ease the pain somewhat. Without thinking Elsie reached towards him and ran the fingers of her left hand through his hair. Charles looked up at her then, startled by the move.

"I've missed you terribly." She said by way of explanation.

"I've missed you too." He said, softly placing her ankle on the ground and leaning close to kiss her.

The fingers that had been in his hair quickly came up and reached around his head, pressing his lips on hers as she relished the long lost touch of her husband. It had been too long. Far too long.

Charles chuckled slightly at the eagerness of his wife. He'd assumed she'd missed him but she hadn't expected this much.

While they both wished to get lost in their kiss both were keenly aware that they were in a public place. A lifetime in service had forced them both to always be highly aware of their surroundings. Charles didn't want the kiss to end, but when he heard a moan slip from his wife he knew they'd have to stop playing with fire.

He eased his lips back, despite the difficulty with his wife's hand against his head. Elsie only fought for a moment before dropping her hand. She was breathless, and she certainly knew it was not the time or place for breathlessness.

"I suppose this is as good a spot as any." Charles said. Elsie's eyes flew wide at the comment, certainly he didn't mean…

Charles got up and quickly unfurled the blanket he had been carrying under his arm and set about laying out their meal.


	14. Chapter 14

She was annoyed, that much he could tell.

As they sat side by side enjoying the various selections of cold cuts and cheeses Mrs. Patmore had prepared for them he frantically racked his brain. What had he done? He supposed nine was a bit early in the morning when one hadn't gotten to bed until nearly 3:30 in the morning but they had both survived on less sleep. In fact most of their lives had been spent getting less sleep and having more to do. Would she really be so cross with him over that?

As Charles mind turned over in alarm Elsie sat beside him quietly seething.

She knew he meant well. He always meant well, but that didn't always mean he'd made the right decision. Why couldn't he have asked her? If he'd only asked her what she wanted to do with the day she would have told him. She would have told him all she wanted to do was stay in bed pressed up naked against him. She didn't even mind if they didn't make love, well not mind much, she just wanted to feel close to him. To feel protected in his arms. To feel the balances evening out, she missed the sense of tranquillity she found when they were alone together in their home hand in hand. Out here there was little chance he'd even be willing to hold her hand, not with the threat of someone coming across them. Though of course that was highly unlikely, while it was a lovely day most people would still be at church at this time of day, or at home preparing for their Sunday roast. Perhaps the awareness that they were likely to be alone made her angrier, they had the opportunity for some kissing at least but her husband clearly lacked the interest. Or so she thought.

"Is everything alright Elsie?" Charles finally asked after finishing his last bite.

"Fine." She replied curtly. While Charles hadn't been a husband long he knew well enough that things were anything but fine.

"I brought your book," he said, reaching into the bag he had brought along pulling out her favourite Austin novel.

"My book?" She asked incrediously, taking the novel from his hand.

"Yes…I thought perhaps you might want to read in the sunshine."

"And what will you be doing while I read?" She asked, trying to contain the ire within her which was rising quickly.

"I thought I might take a nap. I used to love napping on a sunny day when I was a boy." He said laying back across the blanket.

"Well…you've clearly thought of everything." She was with a huff, opening the book and looking down at the page, her eyes so full of rage she couldn't make out a single letter.

A half hour later and Charles was fast asleep snoring. At least he's catching up on his rest she thought begrudgingly. Briefly she considered putting her book down and laying against him. Resting her head on his chest, that warm inviting spot where she could hear his strong heart beating. But she thought better of it, she didn't want to make him uncomfortable when he woke up. She didn't want to overstep.

With a sigh she closed her book. She hadn't even read any of it, instead she had looked down at the letters absently as her mind wandered. It wandered to all the dark places she knew were buried deep within it. Thoughts of Charles leaving her, of running off with someone younger, someone prettier. He knew carnal pleasure now, perhaps he would go find it in someone with a less weathered body. The scar on her breast had always been a proud symbol to her, a badge of courage but now it felt like another tick in a long list of things that made her body unappealing.

Shaking her head Elsie got up from the blanket. There was no use sitting outside feeling alone, letting her mind turn over all the ugliness it had inside it. As she looked down at her husband she was resolute, and without waking him she walked away.

Charles didn't know how much time had passed but when he awoke he was startled to find he was alone. He sat up rubbing his face, trying to push the sleep away from his mind. As he looked around he didn't see her, as his tired eyes continued to scan his heart rate began to race. She was no where to be seen. She was gone. Looking beside him he noticed that her coat and purse were gone. She'd left. He sat in shock for a moment. Something must have happened to cause her to leave. Perhaps she was feeling unwell, or her ankle still hurt. She probably went home to ice it. Yes, he said to himself, that was logical. And of course being the kind woman she was she hadn't wished to disturb him. Charles began to frantically pack the picnic away as he repeated to himself that she was fine, that she'd just had to go home.

Everything was fine.

She was fine.

They were fine.

He repeated it again and again, like a mantra of a holy man. A hope for a desperate man to cling to as he walked as quickly as he could back to their cottage.

"Elsie!" He called out as he stepped inside the cottage door. He dropped the basket and bag inside the front door as he quickly moved around the cottage calling for her.

But no matter where he looked and how loudly he called there was no response.

After ten minutes of searching the cottage he noticed a note on the kitchen table.

 _Charles,_

 _I've gone to Downton. I have far too much work for a day off. I will be home this evening._

 _-Elsie_

"What on earth are you doing here?" Mrs. Patmore called from the kitchen as she watched the housekeeper walk by and into her sitting room, shutting the door firmly behind her.

"Watch the stew" Mrs. Patmore called to Daisy as she walked out of the kitchen.

Mrs. Patmore walked into the housekeepers sitting room without even knocking, an action that only further enraged the steaming housekeeper.

"Mrs. Patmore, if I've told you once I've told you a hundred times, knock and then wait to be allowed entry. If my door is closed there is likely a reason for it." Elsie said curtly from her desk chair, not even bothering to turn around a look at the cook during the scolding.

"Knock or no its your day off. Why in Heavens name are you here? Certainly you've not come to spread joy and sunshine through these dark halls." Mrs. Patmore said defiantly.

"The reason I am here is none of your business Mrs. Patmore. Now unless someone is dying or dead I don't wish to be disturbed."

"You didn't enjoy the picnic then?" Mrs. Patmore asked feeling the need to retreat.

"What was your first clue?!" Elsie said turning and glaring at the cook.


End file.
